“The Gift of the Magi”
O Henry is one of my favourite writers whose works are very interesting and incredible. I adapted his story to share with you guys.
The Magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly, the gifts will bring unexpected luck to people, who knows? Anyway, this is the Christmas gift…
Tomorrow should be Christmas. During the year, Della and Jim who were loving but poor newly married couples. They did not celebrate any festival, nor to send each other any gift. There were not any decent furniture and furnishings. The old carpet exuded smell of damp and creaking staircase which showed they lived in a shabby loft. Economic depression, Jim’s salary had been reduced just enough to maintain basic living. Tomorrow should be Christmas, the hostess of the poor family were worry about how to celebrate the family’s first Christmas? Della stood up and over to the bed in a brown wood box where had her all saving under the bed.
One dollar and eighty-seven cents, to buy a decent Christmas gift for her beloved husband. Della had saved for more than six months, just one dollar and eighty-seven cents. She said to herself, too little money to buy a gift that she had been fancy about, which could be a simple, plain designed platinum watch chain. This is the only stuff might be worthy of Jim’s golden watch which is inherited from his grandfather, and it is Jim’s glory.
Jim was her husband who was a low status of civil servant. Although he was an architectural genius but he did not meet any good opportunity to play his talent. In her mind, she has always convinced that Jim would become a great architect. Actually, Jim also has been unremitting efforts to this aim. He was the beloved husband of Della. Jim’s character just like that plain watch chain. It disclosed a kind of determined light under simply surface. Della was so in love with him.
There is no other way, and she had already been resolved. In front of the mirror Della carefully combed her beautiful long hair and said to herself in heart “by-by”. It seemd to do a kind of prayer before farewell.
Walking in the street, Della felt that was unusual excitement. The time was Christmas Eve, every on were doing the final preparations for the grandest festival in a year. At this point, there were twenty one dollars and eighty-seven cents in her pockets, and she could not wait to go to that watch store which located on the other side of the city. She seemed to have forgotten the suffering of selling beloved long-haired. She just wanted to buy that watch chain quickly and was afraid of someone would buy before her.
That precious gift has been wrapped carefully using a silk handkerchief. With a pleasant mood, walking on the way home, Della heard that birds were singing, it was incredible in the cold winter in the cold Christmas. More than that, she also heard the whispering angles.
Yes ah, the winter has come and spring is following.
Della had completed the biggest wish of the year, even she lost her most proud of the water-fall hair. For her favorite person, she believed that everything was worth for her. She could not help imagining in her mind what Jim looked like when he received this gift. Della smiled with satisfaction and happiness. She seems to presentiment that their poor lives will be a beautiful miracle.
Della bought two pieces of steak and some sweet potato for their festival dinner. Last eighty-seven cents in her hand, this is all. It was time to go back home to prepare dinner. Della quickened the pace, and she also wanted to go back earlier to make herself as beautiful as possible without her long hair, at least, she did not want to let herself looked too unsightly in the special occasion.
Walked, she met a ragged old lady who begged Della to give her some money. The lady were full of kind from her eyes. Della did not reject and gave all the money to her. “God bless you and angel will achieve your desire. Thank you, good people” the old lady said.
Penniless, Della returned home. Might be too tired, she felt sleepy unconsciously on the rocking chair beside the dinning table.
She had a dream, there was a really angel who holding a flashing magic wand came to her, and told her that "I will restore your beautiful hair". In the dream, De la found her hair was restored and moved to tear. Della was awakened and thought it was just a dream, but she felt everything was too real, still full of tears in her eyes. Then she ran to the mirror and was shocked!
An angel had really come……
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is a really uplifting story to read and I really enjoyed it, however in some parts the syntax is wrong and I found it hard to make the sentances flow and to understand what I was reading. For example Angel had really come, maybe you could add 'An' to the start of the sentance and it might flow better "An angel had come". Just small changes like that throughout your fanfic would improve it quite a bit. :)
ReplyDeleteAnother point I'd like to add is how this fanfic is easy to read as it keeps developing the plot throughout the story. In some cases I thought I might point out that you could shorten up some of your sentances which contain alot of discriptive words in it so it can get confusing.For example this sentance: "She said to herself, too little money to buy the gift that she had been fancy which is a platinum watch chain, simple and plain in design, this is the only stuff might be worthy of Jim’s golden watch which is inherited from his grandfather, and it is Jim’s glory" is quite long. Being long isin't a problem but it just has alot going on in it and it makes it hard for me to take it all in. Like I said before though this is such a cute story and was really enjoyable to read.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nicole.I like your story, but i also find it difficult to read in some places. For example in paragraph two "who were loving but poor newly married couples" it doesn't make sense :)
ReplyDeleteI really liked the start of the story, some of the sentences and descriptive phrases were stunning! I could really imagine being there, and seing some of the events take fold.
ReplyDeleteThe grammar made it difficult to understant what tense you were speaking in, and some of your sentence structures need adjusting.
I think some of the information could be cut out of the fan fic as it is all not vital to the story, perhaps more development on the setting and characters would allow that connetion between the authour and the reader to be stronger.
It is a great idea and I love how positive and joyful this story is. I think that the ending could be developed a bit further maybe relating how she gave away the money to a beggar back to her own relationship and fortunes in the future?
really good idea, just a bit of tweaking would make it brilliant! =]
Thank you so much. You guys gave me so many good suggestions and comments. I am very clearly that my writing sometime confused you guys. I always make simple meaning in complexity sentences. In fact, I also would like to use simple words to express my thoughts. But I do not how to do. Read you guys’ proposal, I am very pleased. It seems to make me have a little feeling on the English writing. I am going to amend the draft, according to your opinions. Meanwhile, I hope you can continue to give me more suggestions.
ReplyDeleteReally thanks you guys: Vicki, Nic and Kristy