Harry Potter
This story is about those missing years we didn’t get told about. The years between Harry being dropped off at the and before he gets his acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
Harry’s cousin Dudley had a sister, who died shortly after birth. Her name was April. She was born when Harry was 5 years old.
Screaming came from the room next door and from the little boy next to Harry. His cousin Dudley was crying for some attention as he wasn’t getting any because his mother was having a baby. Harry was excited, he was sick of Dudley and would love company from someone who didn’t hate him. He never understood why they hated him so much, his aunty, uncle and cousin, they just did. Vernon, Harry’s uncle, came running from the room with the screaming, crying. This frighten Harry because they didn’t look like happy tears.
“What’s wrong Uncle Vernon?” questioned Harry.
“She…she…she’s…” Vernon couldn’t bring himself to finish.
“Daddy, daddy he hit me” yelled Dudley who was pointing his rather large finger at Harry.
“Did not” Harry retorted.
The screaming continued from the room that Vernon had just exited. Harry decided he should check on things, make sure everything was OK. Harry was very wise for his age. Harry peered round the corner of the open door, and all he seemed to see was white coats and worried expressions. He could not see his Aunt Petunia and this worries Harry even further. Then he saw it. The tiny, still, lifeless body. Harry was confused.
Aren’t babies meant to be crying after they are born? Thought Harry. That’s what happened on the tv. Harry slowly walked into the room to investigate. He found his Aunty who was now only sliently sobbing, tears rolling down her face.
“Wha…what’s happened?” he asked
“Go away! It’s all your fault! Get out!” She yelled back at him.
“But, i…I didn’t do anything”
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Any advise on where to go or begin with would be greatly appreciated :)
ReplyDeleteThis is really good! The way you've described the characters are exactly like in the movie and books which is really good because then I can relate to them. For example the part where Dudley tries to get Harry in trouble is very relevant to the original Harry Potter storyline. I know we're all new to this and it's kinda weird writing fanfic so I don't think any of us in our group now what really needs correcting or not. Your characters work really well though and I really liked your fanfic. Also I think it's a good length, not too long.
ReplyDeleteI really like the opening part because it sets a mysterious tone for your fanfic. However one part I didn't quite understand was "The years between Harry being dropped off at the and before he gets his acceptance letter to Hogwarts." Also where you have "she... she ... she's..." makes it so realistic becasue when Vernon gets angry he stutters his word which is what you've done. Really awesome fanfic!! Didi you understand mine any better?
ReplyDeleteYeah it's quite short!I'm trying to make it longer so it fit's closer to the 750 mark at the moment it's only like 300. I was really worried about trying to get the characters right because they are so well known.
ReplyDeleteYea, well I don't think you need to worry about getting them any better because you got them so perfect. What else were you thinking of adding to make it longer?
ReplyDeletehaha just re-read your comment again and missed stuff. When i was typing out my fanfic i forgot the Dursley's last name so i left a space and kept on going. I must of forgotten to put it back in.
ReplyDeleteTo your last comment- i have no idea! I'm not sure whether i should add something to the beginning aswell as the end or not. I guess when i first thought about doing the miscarraige storyline i figured the ending would naturally come and it hasn't.
I think this is a great start Vicki!
ReplyDeleteas you have chosen a text that is so well known it is really important to capture the characters in a way that is reflected in the film and the books, I feel that you have done this really well.
The background information is really important to the fan fic because it sets the scene without it I feel that id find it confusing and hard to piece together. Because of this being set before Harry goes to Hogwarts there is a requirement that you already know what Harry Potter is about e.g Magic!
I have not read the books so this baby that died that was called april is a character that I didnt know even exsisted, and it makes alot more sense to me now, why the Dursleys treat Harry in that way.
It is really good base and would be nice to see if this influences Harry to leave the family, maybe the story could lead in a similar direction?
Keep it up =]
That's a really good idea.Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteHi, Vicki
ReplyDeleteThe beginning of the story presentation is very attractive. This story owns more than millions of fans around the world. I think you select the part is everyone is looking forward to learn about. So I strongly agree with you in this selection.
Also, I really like your adaptation, particularly in some of the dialogue, simple, penetrating. Adequately express the kind of protagonist wronged and helpless feelings.
However, when I read your story, I feel that, if you pay more points in dialogues will make the story more wonderful. You mentioned that Harry was very wise for his age. I think, you might further increase a little in this part of the description for him. Further depicting focus on Harry’s unusual wisdom might be better.